It’s a parkland amble compared with ‘that, that went on before’ but Round II is robbing me off my new found va voomery. And I didn’t have it long. A joyous weekend in the Peaks and a soul singing, heart lifting week in the Lakeland sunshine, conquering mountains and clocking up more miles ‘n smiles than I’ve managed in an age.

Now I can feel the energy draining down, leaking out from my toes. The pain monkeys have sent their helpers, just the little ones mind but tearing myself from my duvet is becoming harder with every passing day. Circulation feels thick and soupy, a vaguely toxic sludge creeping slowly through the veins. Body is heavy and slow, concrete and lead, aching quietly to itself.

I know that once I’m up it’ll be better, by that second cuppa it’s almost okay. It’s just the ‘getting up’ I’m having trouble with. I need a caffeine drip on a timer, I need to roll naked in the nettles to wake up, remind myself that I’m still alive and just be grateful that I’m not hiding behind the sofa and walking the thin line of the insane and the fearful. That my ears are buzz free and I’m not looking for buses.

So I need to pull my finger out and just TOUGHEN THE F**K UP THEN*

*Tried. Did my errands by bike (cross bike of course). Felt very off and I can’t blame the headwind, which wasn’t trying that hard. Sweating ‘n shaking even before I had to crawl back up *that* hill with far less gearage than I’m happy with. Decidedly *bonky* by the top, despite having a proper breakfasty lunch. Obliged to buy a paper, coffee and a bun and pass the time a while. Every cloud then..

14 Responses to “Retreat”

  1. Tom says:

    I thought I knew that face. It caught my eye on Flickr and I’ve just realised I read the article (well most of it)

    Can I be young again so I bounce properly?

  2. Simon says:

    It’s Manuel from Barcelona isn’t it?

    I want to be back in the Lakes.

  3. Nicky says:

    I pour my heart out and…

    Yes it is Simon and so do I. It’s raining and I don’t like it here and I’m tired. The sun will still be shining up there won’t it?

  4. Simon says:

    > The sun will still be shining up there won?t it?

    /looks out of window

    Um, maybe :)

  5. Simon says:

    (it’s actually hailstoning at the moment)

  6. Nicky says:

    Pulls duvet over head.

  7. Tom says:

    Did you? I only looked at the pictures ;0)

  8. Ponny says:

    Selfish to the end, I read this and wish I could craft prose like you :) Anyway, what’s with the cross bike – I’m out of touch – and who’s the grumpy Scot? I thought I was defending that title. Where do I throw my gauntlet?

  9. Nicky says:

    Hello John! The cross bike is the new ‘thing’. Well I say new I’ve had it a while well er quite a while, but you’ve got to work up to these things… It’s horribly under-geared by my reckoning, I mince for England off-road, it still scares me despite some tweaking but it’s strangely addictive. It’s an Isla bike bought for not too many buttons off Lesley (she was upgrading) for doing errands on and such like but it seems to be the bike I go to first. Strange but true.

    I fear you need a bigger gauntlet though – ‘The’ grumpy Scot is Grant ;)

  10. grant says:

    You called?

    Aye, this may be round two but it’s all progress, which I think it’s easy for people to lose sight of in the antibiotic haze of this exact moment. However, it’s not about now. It’s about more than that….yesterday, today, tomorrow. It’s about recovery.

    Bearing in mind that I’ve been lectured in a similar way repeatedly over the last two months by someone not a million miles away, I feel qualified to comment. :-)

    Did nobody else pick up on the fact that Nicky appears to have a nudist streak?

  11. Nicky says:

    Ar*e biscuit’s once again my words come back at me like some sort of verbal boomerang. I need to learn to keep my trap shut ;)

    Nudist streak – pardon me?

  12. grant says:

    “I need to roll naked in the nettles to wake up”.

    Nudist streak. :-)

  13. rich says:

    I’m sure we can find some nettles at CLIC if required :)

  14. Nicky says:

    You lot will insist on taking things so literally.. ;)

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